Most people come to therapy because they have a life problem or they are suffering.
What is the reason for your problems and how can you fix them?
Here’s what I believe to be the answer.
Most problems come from avoiding.
For example, a person continues to smoke because they are avoiding the pain of quitting.
We avoid because we are afraid.
People avoid quitting because they are afraid of what they will feel if they do.
People are afraid because of shame, or low self-esteem.
For example, a person may avoid quitting cigarettes, and feel afraid of the pain, because they don’t think they are capable of quitting and tolerating the pain.
Therefore, the answer to most problems is to learn to love your self.
If you love yourself you won’t be afraid.
If you are not afraid you won’t avoid.
If you don’t avoid then you’ll do what you need to do to be happy.
When you love yourself then you are most capable of loving others.
The point and purpose of psychotherapy is to help you heal from the wounds that keep you from loving yourself, and giving you the tools so that you can love yourself.
How can therapy help you love yourself?
Therapy will help you heal the wounds that keep you divided against yourself.
In therapy you will learn that love is a choice. Therapy will help you choose to love yourself.
You will learn to stop paying attention to the negative things you say to yourself.
You will learn to speak to yourself in self-loving ways.
You will learn to speak from your heart to others.
You will learn to listen empathically to yourself and others.
You will grow your ability to care for, and nourish, your mind, body, and spirit.
You will practice living with integrity. This means being honest and doing the right thing.
Therapy will help you live by the new Golden Rule: Treat yourself as you wish others would treat you.
In therapy you will learn that love is an action.
You will learn to act lovingly to yourself and others.
Therapy will help you develop your skill in being a life-long learner and grower.
When you learn to love yourself you will find yourself naturally wanting to give back. You will find the desire to do something good for others and the world. You will find a cause to believe in.
As a therapist, I am committed to making the world a better place one heart at a time.
I believe that we all have the capacity to be make wise decisions, feel happy, and act from the heart. I believe that our purpose is to love.
These are the beliefs that guide my work as a therapist, and what I will help you accomplish.
Dr. Glenn Berger is a psychotherapist, relationship counselor, business and artist’s coach, and young person’s mentor. He sees patients in New York City, in Mt. Kisco, NY, and around the world by Skype.
