The Five Steps to Fulfillment

We are all looking to end our emotional suffering, solve our life’s problems, and find enduring fulfillment. We long to know how we can find love, stop being so anxious, become confident, lose weight, make money, have more energy, have a better marriage, raise happy children.

The answer to our life’s problems is simple. The reason we suffer is because we have lost contact with who we are meant to be, our true self. I call this having a lost heart.

Who are we meant to be? What is our purpose? Who is this ‘true self?

We are all meant to be wise, passionate, strong, creative, and loving. All of this is within us, in potential. This means that we already have everything we need to solve our problems and create happiness.

We are not able to control much of what happens to us, but our best chance of getting what we want in life is through the work we do on cultivating the potentials that nature has given us.

How do we find our heart? How do we cultivate our ‘true self?’ Here are the five steps.

1. Commitment

Finding true fulfillment begins with putting all of our energy into developing our natural abilities for thinking, feeling, imagining, acting, and loving. This total involvement of our energy is more important than anything specific thing we do.

2. Learn

Becoming what you are meant to be takes daily study. Read what great people have to say. Study the wise of the past who have taken the journey before you. Listen to music, watch movies, read fiction. Spend time in nature. Get a mentor. Look within. Learn about the most interesting subject in the world, you. Find a spiritual path. If you search, you will find the answer wherever you look.

3. Heal

None of us escaped our childhoods without some emotional wounds. The next step in finding your heart is to heal those wounds. It also means helping others heal from the wounds we have caused. When we do that we transform our self-hate into self-love. We are meant to love ourselves, and when we do, we gain access to the infinite energy of the universe.

4. Envision

Practice creating a picture of who you will be when you are fulfilling your purpose, when you are your true self. The clearer you can see it, the more likely you are to be it.

5. Become

The final step in finding your true self is to take action now. The most important thing we can do is to connect with others. We need to learn how to speak from, and listen from, our hearts. In this way we express our needs in healthy ways and meet the needs of others.

In order to find our true self we also must care for the self’s temple, our body. Through nutrition and exercise we can optimize energy, mood, health and well-being.

Finally, we must live with integrity and do the right thing. When what we want to do and what we should do are in harmony, then we have inner peace.

When we are our true selves, we know the good from the inside. What we find there is compassion. This gives us the courage to always do the right thing, no matter the risk. Once we act from our best self we find that we have confidence and courage. No fear of rejection or failure can stop us. We can do anything.

Our True Self

What will our life be like when we have found our heart, or are our true self? This may be an ideal that we can only imagine, but it is certainly worth the effort to work toward this end. We have great, passionate, intimate relationships. We do work we love. We become prosperous. We are healthy in mind, body and spirit. We look great and have our best body. We live a long and energetic life. We raise happy children who are ready to take no the responsibility of shepherding our planet. We find true success, living out our meaning and purpose. We give and receive infinitely increasing love. We contribute to the healing of the universe. We find deep spirituality and a live a life of connectedness to the all.

Dr. Glenn Berger is a psychotherapist, relationship counselor, business and artist’s coach, and young person’s mentor. He sees patients in New York City, in Mt. Kisco, NY, and around the world by Skype.

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One comment

  1. Hi Glenn, I love your blog!!! You have really captured some vital elements of heart based living to help us reach our potential.

    Lots of love